08
Jan

expecting all the goodness

By darkiepadmae 1 Comment
Categories: On Random

I don’t really have any new year resolution for 2009, other than being a better person than I am today. What wisey-wisely words to choose! Hahaha…. but that’s no lie. To think of it, I’m very far from being a good person, thanks to my constantly-thinking-and-contradicting brain, that even a slightest matter turning big inside my head, and the bigger matter forgotten. Anyhow, I don’t want to be perfect. I think being perfect is so inhuman. For me, it’s the imperfection that makes someone perfect. Other people can disagree with that, though.

But then again, even if I don’t have any specific new year resolution, I do have a new year wish, which I share with a friend. We both want to fall in love again this year, and adding to that I want to be able to feel love toward a special someone. No, I’m not saying I want to have a boyfriend this year or anything that involves participation from other person. I simply want to feel love again.

I can easily fall for a guy, or have a big interest towards someone. Those things are easy. Give me a smart, intelligent, good looking, and somewhat mysterious guy, and I would turn to like him. But that’s not love. I draw a bold line that separates the term “like” and “love” in my life. For me, love is way deeper than like because it’s when you start to take someone as the way he is and learn to understand him. Then you start to tend to his needs, without neglecting yours, simply because you cannot love someone when you cannot love yourself.

A part of me says that loving someone is an option. It’s true, I guess. When commitment is at hand, then it turns into a choice, whether you want to stay loving that someone or stop loving him and leave. The problem is, falling in love isn’t an option. It takes a force from outside to push you to fall. Without it, it’s like going down to love, and the term “going down” definitely has no good meaning. Hahaha… Too bad though, it’s hard to realize the process of falling, because sometimes it gets blurred with admiration. Maybe I should ask another wish to make me able to differentiate falling in love with other feelings. Maybe?

Well, it’s still January and only about 7,5 days has gone as I’m writing this. There’s still a long way to go, and let’s pray for our hopes granted this year.

06
Jan

2009

By darkiepadmae 2 Comments
Categories: On Random

First of all this is to everyone, especially those in my friends list.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I know that 2009 is predicted to be a difficult year by many people. I hope that these challenges will give us more motivation to evolve into a better person.

So did anyone have a a good party on New Year’s eve? I had my share of party with some friends and playing uno the whole night. The next morning I had to rush to the airport and fly to my hometown. Thank goodness I could hold the drinks. Not that I had too much. ^____^

I spent 4 days doing exactly nothing at my parents’ house. What a pleasant way to spend my holiday! Too bad now holiday’s over and I’m back to the real world. Well, gotta shape up…!!

21
Oct

Wilted No More

By darkiepadmae 2 Comments
Categories: On Random

All the suffering
And all the pain
That you have sacrificed
Let me give them back
Wrapped in ribbon
And flowers blooming from my grave
Under the pallid sky
Silver rays pass through

And I will thank you
For this everything
You’ve given me to grow
Then I can’t hate you
From all the sufferings
And the pain
You stabbed me through
I’m wilted no more

And all your deceiving
I will pay you with trust
And all your crimes
I will pay you with a smile
I’m wilted no more

==========================

conceived on a August 14, 2008

14
Oct

so many updates, so little time

By darkiepadmae 2 Comments
Categories: On Random
Tags:

there are actually so many things happening lately, but i didn’t have that much time to scribble down my updates (in case anyone wanted to know). so now i’m stealing a little time to write down some updates.

i turned 28 last week. nothing changed in my life. i’m still the old me, but i’m a little closer to my golden age. thank you for everyone who had sent messages via the net, forum, sms, and of course the nice phone calls. thanks also for the gifts (eruchan, your mono-mug rocks!! i lurv it!!) and the experiences you’ve given in that day. thank you.

on other things… my dad just sent me a scan of last week’s Kedaulatan Rakyat which mentioned about my grandpa’s obituary. my grandpa was an avid contributor of Sungguh-sungguh Terjadi in that newspaper. sometimes i wonder how he managed to notice those little facts. i guess i have a little of that gene from him. i admire him for that. rest in peace, kong… i know you’re happily united with your beloved once again. i swear i saw you two smiling when we came to your grave. i love you both. ^____^

what else? solo didn’t change that much when i came there around Lebaran. i managed to walk from Beteng to Orion through Sugiyopranoto, to the new Gramedia, then along the rail way to Grand Mall. it only took about 3 hours (including eating ice cream, browsing through the bookstore, etc). i guess my hometown is really, really small.

well… that’s about all for now. i can’t remember anything else.

so… what’s new with you?

15
Sep

SC E-07

By darkiepadmae 0 Comments
Categories: On Random and Weblogs

先週私は大学の友達とバンドンへ行きました。私たちはITBでバンドンに住む友達に会いました。私はITBで建築学を学びました。

SC E-07で待ちました。SC E-07はカトリックの学生組織体の事務局です。あれはITBのSunken Court(SC)に部屋です。「Sunken」は日本語で凹です。「Court」はプラサです。そして、E-07は東にある七番の部屋です。あの部屋は小さくて、ちょっとめちゃくちゃですが、居心地はいいです。

私の大切な場所です。あそこで私は私の友達に初めて出会い、て仲良しになって、ともに成長しました。いつまでも私の大切な場所です。

*thanks to Jun-san for the correction.

*cross posted from my lang-8 account.

15
Sep

joining (yet again) another net community

By darkiepadmae 0 Comments
Categories: On Random and the net

i consider myself quite active around the world called the internet. if you ask me  how many communities i have joined in these 15 years of my life around the internet… i won’t be able to answer that. i guess there are just too many.

lately i decided to cut my “tracks” around the internet by ignoring requests to join yet again more communities, especially the friendship-based ones. i’ve got friendster, facebook, hi-5, yahoo360, and multiply, and perhaps some more that i can’t even recall, so no more of these things - unless someone suddenly invite me to mixi (this is the only want i would join without grudges).

anyhow, i joined (yet again) another community on the net. my friend from my japanese course, asep-san, introduced me to this community. it’s a community where you post any kind of writings so that people can correct the structure, diction, or whatever mistakes you make. you can also correct others mistake. it’s really nice that we all can learn from one another the language that we want to master. the best thing is, you can learn straight from natives.

if you’re interested in joining the community. simply go to lang-8, and start to improve your ability.

08
Sep

My Birthday Wishes

By darkiepadmae 2 Comments
Categories: On Random

yea!! my birthday is just less than 1 month away from now… so isn’t it the BEST time where you can simply list the birthday wish and see if there’s anything granted….

in wanted order:

  1. See Monoral live this year!! (travel & accomodation to whereever they’re playing is enough =P)
  2. Swallowtail Butterfly/Yentown movie (as long as it has English or German subs, i’ll take it)
  3. Monoral’s Petrol original Japan (the only thing not available in CDJapan)
  4. Eoin Colfer’s Benny and Omar
  5. Eoin Colfer’s Benny and Babe
  6. Any other Shunji Iwai’s movie (other than Riri Shushu no Subete/All About Lily Chouchou)
  7. German edition of Weiss Side B 5

if i get them wrapped for my birthday, i’d be so grateful..!! *kisses*

but if it’s not possible, but you have friends in Germany or Japan or England who can help me obtaining these things, please do tell. I’ll buy them myself. I just wanna cut out the mail post, since there’s no way I wanna spend my money on that expensive DHL service.

cross posted from my multiply.

31
Jul

Tie the Tie

By darkiepadmae 0 Comments
Categories: On Random

Tie the tie
too fast
too tight
to suffocate

Tie the tie
too loose
to loose

Tie the tie
just enough
to let it stay

====
for love…

17
Jun

music soup

By darkiepadmae 1 Comment
Categories: On Random

i usually put just one musician/band in my play list, but today i put everything i have on my hdd and put the player on shuffle mode. and whaa!! there are songs that i hardly ever noticed before, or songs that i haven’s listened to for ages. and actually there aren’t that many songs in my hdd (only about 12GB of mp3 which makes "only" 77 hours of non-stop music).
it’s really funny to hear Les Petits Chanteurs de Saint Marc next to Bump of Chicken and then jumping into Blind Guardian. it’s really full of surprises… it’s nice. too bad that it’s still flocked with my Gackt and L’Arc~en~Ciel collection. they dominate by numbers. hahaha…

meaningless… i just wanna write something.
now back to work.

05
May

a letter to asako sakoda

By darkiepadmae 0 Comments
Categories: On Random

This is a letter for a long lost friend Asako Sakoda, who spent her elementary school in Solo, Indonesia from 1988-1989. After she went back to Yokohama, I wrote her a letter in Bahasa Indonesia, and she replied with her rather clumsy but good Bahasa Indonesia. In her post card she asked, "kapan saya bisa terima surat darimu dalam bahasa jepang?" [when can i get a letter from you in japanese?]
as a child i couldn’t reply since by then i couldn’t speak foreign language. i stopped writing. a few years after i tried sending her another letter, this time in english, but the letter bounced and was sent back to my address. perhaps she already moved. i don’t know…
so now, since i can speak a little of her language, i wanna try to write a little for her, answering her question, that now i can write her in Japanese… if only i could find her again.
So, Asako, this letter is just for you….

=========
元気ですか? 私 は 元気です。 会いたかった ね、アサコ-さん。
会社 に まだ いそがしいけど あなた に 書きたい。
最近 ジャカラタ は 雨 が 毎日 ふる。
日本 は どうですか?
私 今 日本語 を 勉強します。 
だから  私 日本語 で  書きたい。
変な 言葉 が ある したら、 すみません ね。

ジャ。。。 私 あの 約束 を 達成します。
日本語 で 書きました。

あなた この ブログ 読んでしたら、おねがい 何か 書きして ください。

ありがとう。

« Previous Entries